People pleasing and the cost of niceness

I’m a people pleaser.

The title often has a fairly positive connotation, but I’ve learned in therapy that the darker side of people pleasing is self-rejection.

By people pleasing you self reject. You refrain from saying certain things, or you behave in a certain way because you’re worried about how others might react. You guilt trip yourself into believing that other people’s emotions are far more important than yours. You’re not truly honest (to anyone)

You tell others half-truths which ultimately end up damaging you more.

But, why ever lie?

There is a difference between niceness and kindness.

And I’m learning to be more kind.